Where's Jaxie?
Yeah, I've been wondering that myself. Oh, I'm sorry. We haven't been properly introduced. I'm Storm. Katrina Storm. I blog over at Mascara & Microchips. I'm also a close friend of Jaxie's. So I'm sure you can imagine my distress at her lack of blogification in the last two months.
I decided the only thing that I could do would be to go check on the poor girl and make sure she hadn't finally become so depressed with the Minnie-soda Twins that she was hanging from her shower curtain rod. So I packed up my ricer and made tracks for the land of 10,000 lakes.
Imagine my surprise when I arrive at her hipster pad and found it deserted! I checked EVERYwhere. The closet, the bathroom, under the bed, behind the bed next to the wall in that place where socks and sheets and pillows always disappear too, because... you know, she's so tiny. Alas, to no avail, Jaxie Fantastic had fantastically disappeared.
Of course I was depressed! This is my home girl we're talking about. My biggest and oldest fan! Without her, who would comment on my mundane bitch blogs?! Who would stroke my ego?
Thankfully, I was not left wondering long, because just as I was ready to call to the police, my phone rang. Of course, Jaxie would call me collect from GJ 1214b! My phone bill is going to be ridiculous this month. That chick owes me some money when she gets home. Oh! I'm sorry... where were we? Oh yeah
Jaxie was abducted by aliens.
Yes, you read that correctly. And no, I'm not talking about Jose and Juan, I'm talking about Aliens like hug-your-face-explode-your-chest-phone-home-invade-every-major-city-on-July-fourth-MIB type aliens
Don't worry, y'all! She is FINE. No probing, no face hugging, not even so much as an overly-firm-handshake. These aliens are def on the up-and-up. She told me about all the cool shit she's seen and places she's been. I'm so jealous. Nothing cool like alien abduction ever happens to me, except that one time when those Germen guys stole my car and locked me in the trunk. She promised to bring me back a hover craft next week.
So have no fear, you will have you have your Jaxie back soon enough. And when you see her, remind that hussy she owes me for that collect call, eh?
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| At least someone's having fun. :-( |
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